Settling Has Never Done Any Good

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For some reason, we can have all the warning signs. You may even experience some symptoms of anxiety, like a sour stomach or goose bumps on your arms. And yet you move ahead in the wrong direction knowing it is no good for you. This can be related to a job, a relationship, buying the right car, placing your child in the right school, the list can go on forever, the point is I have learned to not settle.

It can be difficult to decide if you are settling or making the appropriate choice. But I promise that every time something felt wrong about the choice I was about to make, I had those awful feelings and tons of doubt. My mind was unease about the entire situation. That is when I knew I could not go through with what my heart wanted because my mind was being more conscious of what I was getting myself in to.

Now, I am not perfect and neither have I been the best decision maker all my life. This is a daily process, as we humans make choices every second of our day. But some choices require more thought as in buying a car versus do I want expresso in my chai latte or not. Some decisions require more thought than others as you see.

I have made poor choices. Prior to making those choices I did feel a bit jumpy about them, but because I think I know everything that is best for me, I went forward in the wrong direction knowing it was not the best choice. The result of such actions has not left me dead, heart broken- OF COURSE, but you move on, there is life after a breakup. The point that you broke up means God was looking out for you saying there is someone far greater I have for you in your future; but other results have been I am left a little broke because the business plan failed, does this mean you never try at the business again? No indeed, you have a better game plan. This may have placed me at a horrible job, yeah I may have cried many drives home and vented to my friends about how much I can’t stand working there, BUT…life goes on, I found something new to venture off into.

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The point is we are designed to make choices, all the time. Sometimes, we have warnings that tell us to not go into that direction, but we ignore those red flags, the yield signs- begging us to slow down, the yellow flashing light warning us to please stop ahead. We just drive past those signs and end running off the rail, and because death cannot claim you yet, life has given you plenty more second chances. Each new second is a second chance to get it right. If you can’t get it right with one person, you’ll have tons of new opportunities to get it right with the right person, that deserves your time. If you invest in the wrong business, because you felt it was now or never, or even worse pressured into one, it’s ok don’t settle as a failure, go to the drawing board and try again.

So recently like a week ago, I thought I was moving into a new direction for 2018. I had visited this place numerous times. Then, I brought my family there. They were in love too. Everything was looking good. Finances were straight. Papers were ready to be signed. I was so hyped at the beginning of the week, knowing that by Saturday my little family will be making big moves. Well…Friday evening my gut feeling changed. I became worrisome in the decision I was about to make, and honestly, deep down I always was uncomfortable about it, because I did not like the distance and other factors, but I was willing to SETTLE!!! Friday night all the papers were lined up, and as much as I wanted it, I called it off. I just did not feel good about it anymore. And I have made too many bad choices where I was settling, and this time I was not going to do that to myself. I walked away from what was my “dream house”, but of course, there is a better one than I can even fathom at this time, somewhere in my future. The fact that I wasn’t even upset about not getting the house gives me peace in knowing I made the right decision.

Just think of the possible consequences of signing the contract. I would’ve lost my money I put down had I told the contractors I change my mind, days later. I would’ve hated the distance from work. It just would have been a big mess. It looked good, but it wasn’t best for me. So glad I didn’t settle.

When you don’t settle it may not feel good to walk away at that time, but a few minutes later or hours or days you will have peace about it. And before you know it, you’ll be walking into something better than you even imagined. I may not have my “dream house” at this time, but it is coming.

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We deserve far too much to be settlers. We deserve the best. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to live a life that we are proud of. And that begins when we stop settling. Stop thinking you are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, educated enough, gifted enough. If you need more education, finish school. If you need more training, get the training. You owe it to yourself, to give yourself the best.

I am not just telling you this, I am talking to myself. We are entering a new year. Forget all the other new year resolutions, if you live to give yourself your best life, then all the other resolutions will fall into place.

Jewels, lets make smart choices and stop settling. We DESERVE THE BEST!

 

Life: At the Fate of Your Hands

Life. The word itself inhabits simplicity. Why then, do we say life is hard? Is life really hard, or is it that we make it hard? It’s definitely along the lines of we make it WHAT IT IS. You know that old saying, “Life is what you make it”? It’s so dead on. Think about it for a second. It’s true, right?

We are the authors of our lives. If we decide to make life hard for us, then it will be. Of course, there are times life throws in the unexpected. But, this is where you have the opportunity to grow, and not allow life to defeat you and get you down; OR, make the choice to allow the situation to rule you and shape you. YOU ARE IN CONTROL.

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Folks, life is what you have. Either it will be hard, good, sad, bad, difficult, enlightening, happy, sorrowful, or a combination of it all. I just hope you know that you’re decisions determine the fate of your life. Each day that we think we have is not promised.

Keep life simple. It’s the easiest and most joyful route to take. Any other way is destined to bring hardship. Think back to the Israelites. Their 11 day journey turned into 40 years because of the choices they made. They chose to make their lives difficult.

Please don’t get stuck on deciding whether or not you’re going to be happy being you or someone else; choosing friends that will respect you verses having friends just to be accepted by a group of people; or allowing situations to cause you to get caught up and forgetting the purpose of your life. You.

Wear You: Thought of the Day

For about a year or more, full figured women have been taking over the fashion industry. There are more plus size clothing stores now than ever. These stores are nothing like the old school plus size stores that just sell big plain tops, that fall off your shoulders, and dresses that don’t fit right in any place. These stores carry trendy clothes that any diva would want in her closet.

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Consequently, there is a lot of negativity that comes with plus size girls wearing trendy clothing. People suggesting that plus size ladies should not be promoting positivity in their size because it’s not healthy, and the list goes on. Well, the thought for today is it doesn’t matter what size you are, as long as you’re wearing YOU(which means it doesn’t matter if you’re big, skinny, stout, short, tall, linky, apple, pear, square shaped).

No one is to judge how someone dresses. We shouldn’t judge anyone, period. Every shape is different. Which means every shape has it’s own special needs to look the most flattering. I believe everyone can be fabulous. You just have to dress accordingly for your size.

For instance, I personally find bodycon dresses most appealing on some pear shape and hour-glass plus size ladies rather than a size 2. That’s just my opinion. I find it adorable to see petite ladies wearing short flared out dresses. I think it’s so cute, especially with super flashy shoes.

At the end of the day, you have to be comfortable in your own skin. Confidence is the biggest thing. Women that wear confidence look thee MOST appealing. Never be afraid to try new things no matter what size you are.

Be you, be confident, bring out your inner sexy Jewels! 😉

How Happy Are You?

Way too much time is spent on finding happiness. Can it even be found, or does it already exist within us? Underneath the layers of toughness, kindness, and bearing it all, lies the individual with strong desires to be as happy as happy can be. Happy, just the thought of it cracks a little smile on your face. Makes you crave to be it. Make Happy a part of your day. Why is it that we throw happiness to the side? Why is happiness not vital to our lives?

Happiness means more than memorable moments. It is to be a part of our daily experiences. Sure, not every moment of each day will bring tender sweet memories, but it is in a human’s best interest to make attempts to be happy in most things. In addition to more happiness giving your life less negativity, it also takes away stress. When you come to that realization that the things you cannot change are literally out of your control, you’ll live a stress free and happier life. Thus, I tell myself, when things get uncomfortable, that I have to let go of and accept the things that I cannot change and have no control over. From there, I move on and go back to laughing and enjoying my day.

The world is already full of stressful things that we do not have any control over. Adding our personal issues to the platter does not help. Negativity and stress also take a toll on our health, making it more logical to strive for happiness daily.

I had a rough 2014; therefore, I refuse to allow my 2015 to be anything but EXCELLENT. In order for me to succeed in that goal I have to strive for happiness daily, no matter what. Not allowing people or situations to dictate my mood or take away my joy. My happiness matters, and yours should too!

My many Happy Faces! Be Happy Jewels, it's pretty on everyone! ;)
My many Happy Faces! Be Happy Jewels, it’s pretty on everyone! 😉

Think about this, “Happy” by Pharrell was the No. 1 Billboard song of 2014. People like to be Happy. So, be it!

Have a great weekend being Happy, Jewels!

Get Ready, Something Better is on It’s Way

Life has a way of throwing us off the course we have mapped out, or even more so out of our comfort zone. I am always telling God to lead me and direct my steps, well he is doing exactly that. A few months ago I thought I knew where I would be a year from now. WELL, little did I know God has been working on my behalf. We think we know everything about ourselves, including what is best for us, BUT GOD.

I do not want to go too deep into my personal life, but to give a little glimpse of it all just know that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. I just received the truth about some things. The information was very upsetting. I am appreciative of the truth, but as the old saying goes “the truth hurts”. While it hurt I was relieved. Crazy, I know. Hearing the truth was needed. Yes, it hurt, but now I know the truth and now I can move on. It doesn’t stop there though, I then, had to FORGIVE. See forgiveness is not for someone else, it is for ME. If I did not forgive I would be holding on to that, and trust me I do not want to hold on to anything that God does not want for me. You know why? Well, whatever God has planned for me is far better than what I wanted for myself. It’s very true. (Check out Oprah’s story). I hate to be repetitive, but I have to say it again, the things we have planned, the things that we think we want, the things that we feel and believe are best for us ARE NOT ALWAYS a part of the plan God has for us. Unfortunately, some have to learn this the hard way. That’s when the pain comes, and it hurts. BUT, knowing that God is for me, and he has something better in store for me COMFORTS MY SOUL! When he shuts one door best to believe that another door is being prepared to open that will be WONDERFUL.

Now that that is off of my chest. I shared this because I hope that it can help someone else who may feel like things are not working out in life the way that YOU planned. When we place God in control of our lives, everything will turn out beautifully, way better than you could ever imagine. Let God’s will be done in your life. Yes, it is going to hurt while you’re taken off the course you had planned, but when you align yourself with his will for you, the outcome is far BETTER.

When life throws us lemons, you don’t have to make lemonade. However, you need to know that better is yet to come. When one avenue shuts down take the other street. It means it’s time to travel down another road. Life is not over. Beside every door that shuts is a new door that is awaiting to be opened. Waiting for you to realize that the best is yet to come. Many times what we thought was gold God said was rags, and he is looking to turn our fake gold into sparkly diamonds. Diamonds are forever.

Babies know what it means to smile. They have no cares for anything in the world. They are full of joy, the way we should be. SMILE.
Babies know what it means to smile. They have no cares for anything in the world. They are full of joy, the way we should be. SMILE.

I can’t say it enough how important it is to move on and get ready for the best that is on it’s way to you. So the next time you are upset over the disappointments life brings your way, it’s ok to cry for a moment, but you better be getting ready for the best thing ever to come your way. When it comes to getting ready, that means taking more time out for you. Take time to travel, explore new things, meet new people, try new food, change up your routine, try a new exercise, write, start a blog (like I am doing); the list can go on and on. Getting ready also means, letting go and let God; really moving on from the unexpected route you had to take. You cannot move on if you’re still holding on to what God clearly has told you is not meant to be in your life. Don’t forget that you should also be spending time with God. Get in his word and see what he is saying to you. Let the word minister to your heart. You cannot go wrong with God. When we ask him to lead and direct our steps, he will. You have to be prepared for what those steps may be. He will certainly lead you the right way. Once more, when he leads us and takes us out of the places that may feel like a disappointment he is getting you ready for something far better than you could imagine. Trust God, he won’t lead you the wrong way, only up.

Smile Jewels, when disappointments come just know that they are a part of God’s plan for something better in your life.

THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

Today: Relax, Unwind, Have a Glass of Wine

It’s Saturday. My favorite day of the week. I’m sure it’s obvious why Saturday won that award. After a long and tiring week I like to use Saturday as MY DAY. Saturdays are when I can catch up on completing things on my “to do list”, shop, but most of all…RELAX, UNWIND, and HAVE A GLASS OF WINE. I do not always have that special glass, but I try to. A little wine never hurt anyone.

People stay busy, especially those who work throughout the week and the weekend. There is hardly any time for self. Humans have bodies, and our bodies require us to take good care of them in order for them to function properly. I have little to no time to do anything extra throughout week for me. I manage to workout at least three times a week, try to eat healthy 5 days out of the week, and the rest of the time I am doing whatever it takes to keep my sanity. So, yes, Saturday is MY DAY.

On a typical Saturday, I sleep in as long as possible. Then, I may run a few errands or get a massage. Upon entering the real world, where I had to work to eat. There is a new monthly ritual in my life, massages. They are so great! I feel like a new person walking out of the spa.

Next, I get my hair done, or do it myself. My hair stylist is amazing. I really think she has changed the texture of my hair, lol; is that even possible?

These two together, AMAZING RESULTS! This facial really tightens your pores. You feel it getting it tight on your skin that your face begins to pulsate. You will love this.
Bentonite clay & Apple Cider Vinegar. These two together, AMAZING RESULTS! There are many brands of both items. I found these two at whole foods. This facial really tightens your pores. You feel it getting it tight on your skin that your face begins to pulsate. You will love this.

Then, I give myself a facial. Oh yes, I wash my face every morning and night, but there is something about weekly exfoliation that I love. My face loves it too.

Lastly a mani and pedi, those cuticles are so important to keep up.

When it is all said and done, I sit back and watch some TV, do things for my job (I know I said it’s MY DAY, but I rather do it today that on Sunday Fun Day), and catch up with my people. I can’t tell you enough how important it is to take time out for you and relax.

Always remember, if you don't get to it today, there is ALWAYS tomorrow.
Always remember, if you don’t get to it today, there is ALWAYS tomorrow.

This past Thursday I had an anxiety attack at work. In the past, I have experienced upset stomach and irregular breathing, but that day the pain in my stomach was a feeling I had never experienced before. I left work early and slept for about 5 hours. I still had the pain throughout that day; however, I know that it was all because I carry everything on my shoulders, and I do way too much throughout the week. We are not super heroes, we CANNOT do it all. Take time for yourself, it just might save your life.

Take it easy Jewels. You are only one person, and you deserve a day of pampering yourself.

Remember, Relax, unwind, and have a glass of wine! 😉

Trials Make You Stronger

Hello My Lovely Jewels!

I have really missed blogging, writing in general. Life has a way of taking you away from the things you enjoying doing, if you let it.

The biggest part of my absence from blogging was finding a job (8 months of applying), and the other was personal. It seems as though I battled with one thing, conquered it, and then the next battle began. I was constantly asking God, when am I going to receive my break through and stay through. So I finally began working, then there was a big haul that came about in my personal life. Thankfully, God is on my side and I am coming through that storm a stronger person and on top. Through it all, I am grateful and blessed for where God has me. Through each storm I remind myself of that old saying, “If God be for me, who can be against me?”

ANYWAYS!!!!

So I must share about the job struggle. I graduated December 2013 with my bachelors, and ever since then I have been trying to find a job that would allow me to use my degree. I filled out at least 50 job applications, maybe more. Out of those applications I got an interview for 3 jobs. Just 3! Upon the third interview I still did not land the job (NOT RIGHT AWAY). It felt like eternity, but 4 weeks later I got a call saying I got the job,  if I STILL WANTED IT (of course I DID). The process for getting hired was long and a lot of steps (full of paper work).

Yep, that's me! LOL ;)
Yep, that’s me! LOL 😉

You’re probably wondering what job it is. It is one of the most rewarding, yet stressful, long day, take your work home, work on the weekend kind of jobs. I am a TEACHER!!!! I teach English at the high school level. Something I have always wanted to do, teach the youth. It was a long road, but worth it. I do not plan to teach forever, in fact probably not even a decade. Children are OUR future, and I want to be a part of helping them take advantage of all the wonderful opportunities they have to become thriving adults that will give back in some way later on.

Through everything we go through in life there is a lesson learned. This has been a rough year. Upon every situation that came up I would ask God “What good can POSSIBLY come out of this?” At the moment you do not believe that there is any GOOD that will come out the situation. With time, God reveals the good that is produced out of things that we see as calamity in our lives. We may not get it, or want to understand it because of the pain. But there is a reason for everything.

So the next time you are battling something, see it as the birth of something new. As the saying goes, “All things happen for a reason”. There is a lesson to be learned out of every experience we go through in life. You WILL come out of it STRONGER!

I once was down with a frown, BUT today I smile letting my light shine! BE HAPPY!
I once was down with a frown, BUT today I smile letting my light shine! BE HAPPY!

I am back, and I hope to never stay away this long again. I have new goals, for blogging, that I plan to begin implementing soon.

I’d love to hear how you may have been waiting for something for a long time, and how it was when you finally received it. Please share by leaving a comment below. Have a WONDERFUL DAY JEWELS!

Who Do You Dress Up For, Yourself or Them?

I get this all the time, and I want to know why people feel this way. So I often get asked, “Who are you all dressed up for?” My answer has never changed, “For ME!” Why is it that wearing a scarf or a big necklace makes you all dressed up. I don’t care if I was wearing a dress and everyone else had on jeans. Just because I took a different route from the average Joe does not mean that I am getting “Dressed UP” for someone other than myself. MAYBE I dress the way I do, because it makes me happy. I like to dress up. My whole family knows that about me. So if I show up somewhere looking a tad bit over dressed, they are not surprised. By the way, I never consider the way I dress, overly dressed. I don’t think anyone could ever be too dressed up for an occasion. This only applies when you are being yourself. Now, if you are dressing up to impress someone, and it turns out you are way over dressed for the occasion, then you are at fault for that and will feel the eyes staring at you for your big mistake. BUT, for those of us who just love to add accessories to dress up a t-shirt or a blazer on top of t-shirt, jeans, and converse, you are just being yourself. That is all that counts, being yourself. When you be yourself, you will never feel out of place or over dressed, you’ll feel like YOU.

I had to address this, because I hear it way too often. I was at open house at the school I am doing my internship at, and I had on a simple black and white striped dress with knee high black boots. All of the teachers were asking me, “Who are you all dressed up for, the parents?” I replied, “No ladies, for Me!” There is no other explanation for this. I love to dress up, it’s fun, and it’s a part of who I am, that I hope NEVER GOES AWAY!

This is the thought for today. If you guys would like to share your thoughts on this subject please comment below.

Have a WONDERFUL Day being YOURSELF, Jewels! 😉

What Happened to Applying the GOLDEN RULE?

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A few days ago while I was at work,  I began to think to myself no matter how kind you are to people, some people are always going to be ugly. I had a job that was what I like to call “my play money job”. I called it this because I would come in  for just a few hours to help out, they are short staffed (the manager likes it that way, weird to me), the manager knew me and she called asked me if I could help her out. So I said “Of course”. I only lasted three months. I am so amazed at my self for being there that long, and I do NOT see how the other ladies have been there longer and are still THERE! My first week or two were the best! I hardly worked with her (the manager that hired me) and the other ladies were great. But one of the ladies quit on the spot so she had to start working the hours that I was there. That is when everything crashed.

She was always rude, obnoxious, and all around disrespectful. Normally, I would have a word with someone like that. I would have done it kindly, but instead I would always sweep her ugliness under a rug, smile, and did whatever she requested when I could get around to it (I was already working on something that she had just given to me). I’m only human, not a robot (I refuse to be treated like one or act like I can do a hundred things at once as fast as lightning). That only made things worse, she would make comments like “Oh, you just drag, you have no pep in your step. You used to work so well here…blah blah blah”. Again, I would just look at her and smile. I always try to hold my composer with people. Even though they are acting crazy and have an ugly personality does not mean I have to get down to their level and lose who I am, for one person.

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There would be days when she would come in not feeling well (and I had to work with her). I would toss to the side (not throw away) the ugly comments she had thrown at me before, and I would do my best to make things easier for her so she did not have to stress out that day. I was so nice to this lady. I’d tell her ways that may help her situation, go see a doctor, everything will be ok, I’m sure whatever is going on it is nothing fatal. She is a drama queen and she would be putting on as if she was dying. I did my best to help her out. On one of the days like this (where she was not feeling well) she gave me a project. There are two ways to get this project done so I chose the one that I was most comfortable with and could get done the fastest (I do not want to drag on this project, she already thinks I work slow on purpose). So I finished the task and right before my shift is over she tells (despite feeling like she is about to die) “You did this all wrong. This is not how I wanted you to do this” and she went on and on. It really was not a big deal, but because she is this way, I just went on a head and came in on my day off to redo it. But, that night she gave me hell about it. Eventually these words came out of her mouth, “I’m trying to make you feel bad, I want you to feel bad for not doing it right the first time”. I should have said I quit right then and there, but because I am the way that I am, I didn’t, I knew they were barely functioning considering that we lost a member of management, so I stayed, until now. What is crazy about all of this is that this same person contacted ME and asked ME to come work with her, I did not apply or ask to be a part of that team.

My whole point is that no matter how kind you are to people; no matter how much you try to buff out their rough edges, some people are just going to be ugly. I had to learn this with this job (we go through everything for a reason). I have never had someone treat me this way before. I have encountered rude people before, but not worked with someone for months and they consistently treat you like this. I always figured my kindness was going to eventually get to her and she would be nice to everyone, it was not just me. But I didn’t see it happen. Who knows maybe it will one day. I’m not saying this to say give up on being kind to those that disrespect you, but never stoop to their level, always be yourself.  I could not continue to put up with her ugly ways and since it was a play money job, I didn’t have to. Working there was not a necessity for me.

golden_rule-300x238Be the golden one in the bunch

It is really too bad that people do not know how to work with people that are different from them. CLEARLY, we had different personalities but that does not mean because you are higher up than me, with your position, that you can disrespect me. Everyone wants to be treated with respect, but everyone is not dishing it out. If only we all could live and treat others the way we want to be treated, this world would be a better place. Think back to kindergarten the only rule back then was the GOLDEN RULE. We have forgotten all about it.

This is the exact same poster that was in my kindergarten class.
This is the exact same poster that was in my kindergarten class.

This has been a long thought for the day, if you have anything you would like to share about this, I would love to hear it.

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Have a fabulous day Jewels!

Twisted

Eliminating-Racism

I am just amazed at all the racism that is displayed on youtube. I am certainly not surprised that there are racist people out there, especially in the great country of America, but at how open people are with their racist comments. The video, if you haven’t already seen it on tv or youtube, is not what I found racist. The lady could have possibly  been tongue twisted, the words on the tele-prompt could have been there from a typo, or she could have said that because it was on her mind. Whatever the situation may be it has been said and done on national television, nothing she can say or do now. So after watching this clip of the news I immediately scrolled down to see what people had to say and it was mind blowing. I have seen other racist comments before, but nothing like this. Which is not to my surprise considering that this part of the news was covering the “President” and there are many that “HATE” him only because of the color of his skin. I’m not here to talk politics, but on The Curvy Chateau we have to keep things real, and the REAL deal here is that many people dislike Obama due to the color of his skin. Bottom line those in the KKK took a liking to this video and had a lot to say.

peace-teach

Check out the video here —> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKxN1j3mgRc

What I find funny about all of this is that there are racist people that do not like blacks, but they love sports! On game days, especially Sunday, when men and women watch football and basketball they are CHEERING on players like Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, Calvin Johnson, and Adrian Peterson. So on Sunday when everyone across America is watching the Super Bowl, I know those haters will be yelling at their televisions booing and rooting on their black players.

This is the thought for the day. If you have anything you would like to share please comment below. I’d love to hear what your thoughts are on this subject.

Have a great day Jewels!