Settling Has Never Done Any Good

dont-settle

For some reason, we can have all the warning signs. You may even experience some symptoms of anxiety, like a sour stomach or goose bumps on your arms. And yet you move ahead in the wrong direction knowing it is no good for you. This can be related to a job, a relationship, buying the right car, placing your child in the right school, the list can go on forever, the point is I have learned to not settle.

It can be difficult to decide if you are settling or making the appropriate choice. But I promise that every time something felt wrong about the choice I was about to make, I had those awful feelings and tons of doubt. My mind was unease about the entire situation. That is when I knew I could not go through with what my heart wanted because my mind was being more conscious of what I was getting myself in to.

Now, I am not perfect and neither have I been the best decision maker all my life. This is a daily process, as we humans make choices every second of our day. But some choices require more thought as in buying a car versus do I want expresso in my chai latte or not. Some decisions require more thought than others as you see.

I have made poor choices. Prior to making those choices I did feel a bit jumpy about them, but because I think I know everything that is best for me, I went forward in the wrong direction knowing it was not the best choice. The result of such actions has not left me dead, heart broken- OF COURSE, but you move on, there is life after a breakup. The point that you broke up means God was looking out for you saying there is someone far greater I have for you in your future; but other results have been I am left a little broke because the business plan failed, does this mean you never try at the business again? No indeed, you have a better game plan. This may have placed me at a horrible job, yeah I may have cried many drives home and vented to my friends about how much I can’t stand working there, BUT…life goes on, I found something new to venture off into.

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The point is we are designed to make choices, all the time. Sometimes, we have warnings that tell us to not go into that direction, but we ignore those red flags, the yield signs- begging us to slow down, the yellow flashing light warning us to please stop ahead. We just drive past those signs and end running off the rail, and because death cannot claim you yet, life has given you plenty more second chances. Each new second is a second chance to get it right. If you can’t get it right with one person, you’ll have tons of new opportunities to get it right with the right person, that deserves your time. If you invest in the wrong business, because you felt it was now or never, or even worse pressured into one, it’s ok don’t settle as a failure, go to the drawing board and try again.

So recently like a week ago, I thought I was moving into a new direction for 2018. I had visited this place numerous times. Then, I brought my family there. They were in love too. Everything was looking good. Finances were straight. Papers were ready to be signed. I was so hyped at the beginning of the week, knowing that by Saturday my little family will be making big moves. Well…Friday evening my gut feeling changed. I became worrisome in the decision I was about to make, and honestly, deep down I always was uncomfortable about it, because I did not like the distance and other factors, but I was willing to SETTLE!!! Friday night all the papers were lined up, and as much as I wanted it, I called it off. I just did not feel good about it anymore. And I have made too many bad choices where I was settling, and this time I was not going to do that to myself. I walked away from what was my “dream house”, but of course, there is a better one than I can even fathom at this time, somewhere in my future. The fact that I wasn’t even upset about not getting the house gives me peace in knowing I made the right decision.

Just think of the possible consequences of signing the contract. I would’ve lost my money I put down had I told the contractors I change my mind, days later. I would’ve hated the distance from work. It just would have been a big mess. It looked good, but it wasn’t best for me. So glad I didn’t settle.

When you don’t settle it may not feel good to walk away at that time, but a few minutes later or hours or days you will have peace about it. And before you know it, you’ll be walking into something better than you even imagined. I may not have my “dream house” at this time, but it is coming.

Settling-for-less-than-the-best-is-a-key-characteristic-of-a-person-who-doesn_t-feel-that-they-are-worthy-of-more

We deserve far too much to be settlers. We deserve the best. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to live a life that we are proud of. And that begins when we stop settling. Stop thinking you are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, educated enough, gifted enough. If you need more education, finish school. If you need more training, get the training. You owe it to yourself, to give yourself the best.

I am not just telling you this, I am talking to myself. We are entering a new year. Forget all the other new year resolutions, if you live to give yourself your best life, then all the other resolutions will fall into place.

Jewels, lets make smart choices and stop settling. We DESERVE THE BEST!

 

Life: At the Fate of Your Hands

Life. The word itself inhabits simplicity. Why then, do we say life is hard? Is life really hard, or is it that we make it hard? It’s definitely along the lines of we make it WHAT IT IS. You know that old saying, “Life is what you make it”? It’s so dead on. Think about it for a second. It’s true, right?

We are the authors of our lives. If we decide to make life hard for us, then it will be. Of course, there are times life throws in the unexpected. But, this is where you have the opportunity to grow, and not allow life to defeat you and get you down; OR, make the choice to allow the situation to rule you and shape you. YOU ARE IN CONTROL.

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Folks, life is what you have. Either it will be hard, good, sad, bad, difficult, enlightening, happy, sorrowful, or a combination of it all. I just hope you know that you’re decisions determine the fate of your life. Each day that we think we have is not promised.

Keep life simple. It’s the easiest and most joyful route to take. Any other way is destined to bring hardship. Think back to the Israelites. Their 11 day journey turned into 40 years because of the choices they made. They chose to make their lives difficult.

Please don’t get stuck on deciding whether or not you’re going to be happy being you or someone else; choosing friends that will respect you verses having friends just to be accepted by a group of people; or allowing situations to cause you to get caught up and forgetting the purpose of your life. You.

How Happy Are You?

Way too much time is spent on finding happiness. Can it even be found, or does it already exist within us? Underneath the layers of toughness, kindness, and bearing it all, lies the individual with strong desires to be as happy as happy can be. Happy, just the thought of it cracks a little smile on your face. Makes you crave to be it. Make Happy a part of your day. Why is it that we throw happiness to the side? Why is happiness not vital to our lives?

Happiness means more than memorable moments. It is to be a part of our daily experiences. Sure, not every moment of each day will bring tender sweet memories, but it is in a human’s best interest to make attempts to be happy in most things. In addition to more happiness giving your life less negativity, it also takes away stress. When you come to that realization that the things you cannot change are literally out of your control, you’ll live a stress free and happier life. Thus, I tell myself, when things get uncomfortable, that I have to let go of and accept the things that I cannot change and have no control over. From there, I move on and go back to laughing and enjoying my day.

The world is already full of stressful things that we do not have any control over. Adding our personal issues to the platter does not help. Negativity and stress also take a toll on our health, making it more logical to strive for happiness daily.

I had a rough 2014; therefore, I refuse to allow my 2015 to be anything but EXCELLENT. In order for me to succeed in that goal I have to strive for happiness daily, no matter what. Not allowing people or situations to dictate my mood or take away my joy. My happiness matters, and yours should too!

My many Happy Faces! Be Happy Jewels, it's pretty on everyone! ;)
My many Happy Faces! Be Happy Jewels, it’s pretty on everyone! 😉

Think about this, “Happy” by Pharrell was the No. 1 Billboard song of 2014. People like to be Happy. So, be it!

Have a great weekend being Happy, Jewels!

Get Ready, Something Better is on It’s Way

Life has a way of throwing us off the course we have mapped out, or even more so out of our comfort zone. I am always telling God to lead me and direct my steps, well he is doing exactly that. A few months ago I thought I knew where I would be a year from now. WELL, little did I know God has been working on my behalf. We think we know everything about ourselves, including what is best for us, BUT GOD.

I do not want to go too deep into my personal life, but to give a little glimpse of it all just know that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. I just received the truth about some things. The information was very upsetting. I am appreciative of the truth, but as the old saying goes “the truth hurts”. While it hurt I was relieved. Crazy, I know. Hearing the truth was needed. Yes, it hurt, but now I know the truth and now I can move on. It doesn’t stop there though, I then, had to FORGIVE. See forgiveness is not for someone else, it is for ME. If I did not forgive I would be holding on to that, and trust me I do not want to hold on to anything that God does not want for me. You know why? Well, whatever God has planned for me is far better than what I wanted for myself. It’s very true. (Check out Oprah’s story). I hate to be repetitive, but I have to say it again, the things we have planned, the things that we think we want, the things that we feel and believe are best for us ARE NOT ALWAYS a part of the plan God has for us. Unfortunately, some have to learn this the hard way. That’s when the pain comes, and it hurts. BUT, knowing that God is for me, and he has something better in store for me COMFORTS MY SOUL! When he shuts one door best to believe that another door is being prepared to open that will be WONDERFUL.

Now that that is off of my chest. I shared this because I hope that it can help someone else who may feel like things are not working out in life the way that YOU planned. When we place God in control of our lives, everything will turn out beautifully, way better than you could ever imagine. Let God’s will be done in your life. Yes, it is going to hurt while you’re taken off the course you had planned, but when you align yourself with his will for you, the outcome is far BETTER.

When life throws us lemons, you don’t have to make lemonade. However, you need to know that better is yet to come. When one avenue shuts down take the other street. It means it’s time to travel down another road. Life is not over. Beside every door that shuts is a new door that is awaiting to be opened. Waiting for you to realize that the best is yet to come. Many times what we thought was gold God said was rags, and he is looking to turn our fake gold into sparkly diamonds. Diamonds are forever.

Babies know what it means to smile. They have no cares for anything in the world. They are full of joy, the way we should be. SMILE.
Babies know what it means to smile. They have no cares for anything in the world. They are full of joy, the way we should be. SMILE.

I can’t say it enough how important it is to move on and get ready for the best that is on it’s way to you. So the next time you are upset over the disappointments life brings your way, it’s ok to cry for a moment, but you better be getting ready for the best thing ever to come your way. When it comes to getting ready, that means taking more time out for you. Take time to travel, explore new things, meet new people, try new food, change up your routine, try a new exercise, write, start a blog (like I am doing); the list can go on and on. Getting ready also means, letting go and let God; really moving on from the unexpected route you had to take. You cannot move on if you’re still holding on to what God clearly has told you is not meant to be in your life. Don’t forget that you should also be spending time with God. Get in his word and see what he is saying to you. Let the word minister to your heart. You cannot go wrong with God. When we ask him to lead and direct our steps, he will. You have to be prepared for what those steps may be. He will certainly lead you the right way. Once more, when he leads us and takes us out of the places that may feel like a disappointment he is getting you ready for something far better than you could imagine. Trust God, he won’t lead you the wrong way, only up.

Smile Jewels, when disappointments come just know that they are a part of God’s plan for something better in your life.

THE BEST IS YET TO COME!